Being a mother is hard. Being a good mother is nothing short of superwoman status. And being a successful stay at home mom well that deserves its own award. When I knew I was pregnant with both of my boys I knew I would give this motherhood thing everything I had. So, when it comes teaching them the fundamentals of life, I’m stern yet open. But the important thing, is that I love them with all my heart. I realized as I was caring for them and showing them the world, that everyone else’s child was not like my own.
Reality set in that raising boys, that would one day be good men, would be more difficult than I thought. I want to always make sure my children are well-rounded people with good morals. In my opinion, respect and morals will take you far. Being a military family, I know people from all different cultures and ethnicities that I love and respect. I never walk around feeling defeated by inequality because I have to subconsciously and consciously give my boys hope. As their mother it’s my job to protect and nurture everything about them.
6 Things I Teach My Black Sons
- The World doesn’t owe you anything– I see so many people of all races and genders, acting like they simply don’t have to work hard for the things they think they deserve. The world is not responsible for the success of my children, my children are responsible for putting in hard work to have the life they deserve.
- Make good choices– This is the advice I say repeatedly to my Son’s every day. Sometimes, all it takes is one good choice or one bad choice to change your life. You don’t know which of your choices will change the course of your life, so try your best to make good ones.
- Treat people with love– I learned, growing up in my own life, that if people feel love from you, they are more receptive to what you have to say. We all need to suggest things to people on our own behalf or on the behalf of others, so try to go with good intention and with love.
- Pray– As a Christian mom, I believe you must put your faith in something and my faith is in God. I teach my Boys to always pray, because some things in this world they won’t be able to comprehend, and those things will be bigger than intelligence. Those things require a higher power. God.
- Use Your voice but watch your tone– I want my son’s to always stand up for themselves and be vocal about the things they feel. I teach them don’t go around raising your voice or speaking aggressively unless you have to. It’s important to assess the situation.
- Act like you deserve to be here– There will be many times a black man will feel like that don’t deserve to hold the space that they are in. But I want my Sons to know that they don’t have to go around vocally proving to people that they deserve that space. I want them to walk it, stand in it, embody it, and have conversations like they own that space.
My husband and I both will teach our Son’s many lessons growing up, as children, but most importantly black boys that will be black Men. Our prayer is that they give respect and receive respect, regardless of the differences that may arise. We pray that they know every situation won’t be perfect, but that they remain calm and remember that they are more than any circumstance. Although these are tips I give my boys, sound advice has no color.