I wrote an article about being married at 20, but I know there are some like, really girl. That does not happen to everyone or they may not want that type of life. I get it and like I stated before, I would not recommend it to everyone. But I have a lot of people I know or encounter who are single and tired of waiting for love. The thing about love is that you can’t control how someone loves you or when they come to that point. You can’t control any one… period and I think if you are in a relationship or not, the number one lesson is to know you can’t control anyone. The only person you can control is you. What you can control is yourself and how you present yourself to the world. So here is a list of 10 things to do and think about while you are single and tired waiting for love.
WAIT! But First..
It’s easy to say someone doesn’t understand being single and tired of waiting for love because they aren’t in it. Sometimes we are full of emotion and because we are in the midst of the storm, we can’t see as clearly as someone standing with an umbrella. It’s the same theory that you are better at giving the advice than receiving it. Because if it’s not your situation you are more likely to offer compassion and give clear advice. When a person gives you advice, you take what you need and leave the rest.
Single and Tired of Waiting for Love: 5 Things to do while you wait
- Stay positive– I have a friend that is going through something that she has to tackle day in and day out. But every time the situation is brought up she is positive and speaks highly in trusting God’s plan. No matter what speak highly of your journey.
- Make sure that you matter to yourself– Spend time getting to know the things you like and appreciate.
- Make a plan and organize your thoughts- My girl Marilyn suggest making a vision board , just like you would do for a career. Include all of the things you would like in your relationship, make sure they are substantial goals. Like Faith, Finances, the way he treats you etc. Small characteristic should not be written in stone.
- Non-negotiables- My suggestion is to write down 5 non-negotiables, a little more or less, but you don’t need to over do it. Keep it clear and simple. Think of the direction you would like to take your life. For example if you would like to be married within 2 years and have a child immediately after, don’t settle. These type of list are done a lot in business, but I find it helpful in making life decisions also.
- Find two hobbies- Do something that involves other people, dance classes, volunteering, or afterwork networking. Hobby’s like these push you to not be stuck in your home and keep you socializing. The club does not have to be the only term for “going out.” No one can see you in your home and don’t let work be the only place people see you, get out there. Try eventbrite.com for events in your area. The Second hobby is something that you simply enjoy doing alone or with someone. The point is to have things you enjoy.
Five More Things: Don’t Stop Reading 5+5=10
- Faith- I am a woman of Faith and this has to be a top thing for me. Love in Hebrew means to be reliable. Most likely when you are in love or married, you are going to need to pray for one another through ugly and good times which means you both need to have a reliable type of love. Try reading short devotionals or inspirational books everyday to help your knowledge and understanding for love grow. Trust me girl, it helps.
- Release It- Part of waiting takes a lot of mental understanding of the process of life. Telling yourself daily, “it’s” never going to happen and sulking in your pity will get you absolutely nowhere. Before you know it you are carrying the “I’m single and tired of waiting for love” all in your shoulders. We subconsciously do things all the time we don’t realize. We then internalize it and it translates on our face. So one, tell God, he is everywhere at anytime, two have that one person you can talk to monthly,who won’t judge you. Release it girl!
- Date- I know it may seem so obvious, but a lot of women who have successful careers, give it their all without hesitation, but when it comes to love they don’t bother. Make a commitment to at least(if the opportunity presents itself) go on a date once a month. Have conversation with someone and don’t make it out to be any more than what it is , a date….. Date!! Don’t go on too many in a month, because I’m sure it will get exhausting and bad dates will sometimes cause you to be less hopeful. Find Balance.
- Smile and Treat yourself- Go on the trips and make the plans you want, don’t wait until someone can take you. Grab a friend and Go. If a Friend can’t go, go alone. Part of our issue is, that it’s uncomfortable for us to be alone or treat ourselves nicely when nobody’s watching. Smile at yourself when you walk past a mirror. You’re worth it.
- Trust God’s Plan- Whether you like it or not, you can’t rush God’s plan. Sometimes he may be saving you from something or asking you to see something you are missing. Seek him first and lean not on your own understanding. Trust the process my friend, single and tired of waiting for love will be the last of your thoughts. My prayer is that you take what you need from this list and leave what may not apply to you. Everything is not for everyone, but I have a feeling this is for you. Blessings and until next time….
I definitely agree! I’ve been single for the last two years, and while I would love to have someone to share experiences with, I’m also cool with waiting. I needed to get myself together so I could be ready whenever they decided to come into my life. Now, I patiently wait and continue to love and date myself.
This is such great advice! Have faith and focus on you and the things you love. I could imagine getting married in your 20s could be tough. The last one is definitely the most important. We have to trust God’s timing. When you look back you’ll realize it happened when it should’ve happened.
Sheena I completely agree, thank you for reading 🙂
Love your article! Always remember love yourself!
I totally have been here before. At 33, being single and never married, I have questioned God multiple times. Now, I am taking this time to go on a personal journey and as a woman of faith, I am also praying for the man God has for me. I know he will find me at the right time.
Thank you for being open, I pray you continue to trust God, and pray that God reveals what you need, thank you for reading.
I got married at 18 after dating for 2 years. I feel you, I recommend it. There is nothing wrong with dating with a purpose or intent
Mine new love came when I wasn’t looking.
Your advice is spot on. I had young love but now that I am a widow, there is so much I realize about that love. It was indeed young and not life lasting in retrospect.
As someone who has been married a really long time, I wish I had done more of these things in the beginning. Like being content by myself, that’s important.
This is a helpful post. I single and I am waiting and just releasing and doing things positive while I wait.
These are great tips! Number 6 and 10 are my favs! 🙂
I love that this wasn’t full of girl wait girl stop girl be still! That’s what I hear as I approach thirty and I’m dying for a ring!!! But patience is a strong virtue and these tips definitely helped! Thank you!
Man, this is ME. I HATE dating though. It seems like a complete waste of time because I never get to meet anyone I clique with. I honestly just do me because if I sulk in the “when is he going to come around”, I’ll be miserable.
I think the most important to me would be faith and trusting Gods plan. Sometimes we don’t understand but we have to know that God knows what he is doing. I never thought about doing a vision board as it relates to dating but that could work as well. Lastly, yes get you a hobby, take your mind off of I’m single and enjoy life.
I’m newly single and I’m in no rush to get married, I just want to foucus on my new journey and learning to get to know myself again.
I hear that Jamila and you have the right, I wish you well , Thank you for reading.
One of the most uplifting pieces of advice I’ve had in a long time. You phrased it beautifully. Thank you for the encouragement.
Thank you so much for reading and your support. I really appreciate your kind words.