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Hey! you’re here because you wanted to see if you have really lost yourself, or if there is someone who can relate to you. Well, keep reading to find out.  When I had my first son, I don’t remember feeling so defeated. I was excited to have my first child and devote my life to caring for him and making sure he had the best. Then my second son came along and that’s when I started thinking that selfish thought that every mom feels guilty about, “I need me time.” It’s about more than getting your hair done or a manicure. Don’t get me wrong, that needs to be included if that’s your thing. But what these feelings really meant is my desire to figure out who I am now without noise from my own world…and kids.

Black Woman in an article about finding yourself if you feel lost

How do you know if you have lost yourself?

I was doing this questionnaire one day and it stated, What is your favorite thing to do? and I thought immediately, bike riding and reading. Ready for an honest moment? I have not ridden a bike in 5 years and I have not read a book in a year for recreation (just picked up a new book after writing this lol, Yay me). These are the things that I loved doing ever since I was a teenager. There is nothing wrong with these things, in fact even though I don’t do them often I still love them. But the question is what else? What else do I love what else makes me happy, What else gives me excitement? and If at the end of those questions, If I still mostly like to read and ride my bike, why am I not doing it more? How do you know if you lost yourself?

Are you ready for this? If you don’t know what you love or things that make you happy now without hesitation, you have lost who you are.

If you are constantly grooming and helping everyone around you, without ever thinking to take care of yourself first, you have lost yourself.

If the sole opinion of other people or one person determine your next move, then you have lost yourself.

What if you had to stand in front of a football stadium right now and tell everyone your morals, what you believe and why could you do that? If not, then you may have lost yourself.

Feeling lost is simply not knowing who you are, never caring for yourself, not doing the things you like, and letting others determine the trajectory of your life without your say so. And here is the big one. You just stand by and let it happen.

Discovery: How Do I Find Out Who I Am?

I have said this many time before. I started this blog because I needed something for me. I needed a place that I could express my self creatively. I knew I wanted to help others. I wanted to share my experience in hopes that I could be able to help and heal thousands. Because I know better, I know as women, we need to share. We need to say, “Sis there was a time I felt lost, I needed someone to be able to relate to, I understand where you’re coming from.”

I just remember waking up and looking at the world on fake social media and also in life and, thinking, I just want more for my life, how can I do that? So I started with me first. I started praying and writing out a plan. Then I slowly started to check off the things on my list. I did it in my own time. List help you to organize your thoughts and feel accomplished once you get to the end of them.

What to include on your Self-awareness List

  • First, you want to make sure to keep the bullet points short and concise. Too many words won’t make your point clear.
  • make 4 columns or pages if you want to be more organized. The columns should include the things you like or enjoy, the things you want to accomplish or do?  Next is the “why,” and lastly, clearly focused points on how to get there.

Example 1. I enjoy being outdoors  2. I would like to read by an ocean or lake, 3. I think better and I’m calm by a body of water. 4. Once a month I will read by water and find a set time within the 3rd week of the month when my husband schedule is more relaxed.

  • Also, keep the list itself short. Start with 3 to 5 things.
  • Go at your own pace set within your realistic time frame.
  • Ok, are you ready for the hard part? Execute. Yes, this will be the most difficult part of your list, because it forces you to move away from the fear of only holding it in your mind.
  • After each thing is done, Celebrate, relish in the moment, and do it again if you really liked it.

Your List can be big or small. It can be the silliest thing you can imagine or the scariest thing that you wouldn’t dare to actually try. Just remember this is your life, don’t just stand there and watch it go by you. You are not lost, you have just yet to discover the new you. Figure out who you are now and share that shit with the world. *Drops Mic*

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