Embracing Change: My Journey to Reevaluate Community and True Connections

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This past year has been a profound shift for me. You see, I’ve always been someone who cherished solitude and found solace in my own company. But lately, there’s been a transformation within me, a yearning for community and closeness that I hadn’t experienced before. It led me to ponder what community looks like for me and what my requirements are. I learned that I had to check myself too. What I want I also have to make sure I’m giving it out.

Reevaluating Community

The concept of community took on a new meaning as I came to terms with the idea of needing people to show up when life gets tough. This idea of “showing up” became a central theme, and it hit me hard. Would my community be there for me when I needed them the most? The realization that some wouldn’t left me in a sort of emotional chokehold.

Words, I began to realize, don’t mean much. People could tell a good story, lend a sympathetic ear to my struggles, but when it came to the true test of showing up, they fell short. I questioned whether my community had always been this way, and a part of me whispered “yes.” The truth, however, was that I never gave people the chance to prove they could show up. I was too busy investing my time, energy, and money into proving I could be there for others.

The more I sensed a lack of community, the more I replayed the words spoken to me, and they started sounding like empty promises. Empty words leave you feeling hollow because you realize there was no substance behind them.

In the midst of this realization, a simple mantra emerged: “Show up, it’s simple.” I began living by this idea that people do what they want and spend money on what matters to them. It’s a reality that’s hard to deny, and it reveals the authenticity or lack thereof in people’s intentions.

So, how do you show up? It starts with identifying if you consistently show up in the same way for all the people you consider a part of your community. Committing to friendships and relationships involves understanding the personalities of those you care about. It’s about deciding if that alignment is something you want to invest in, acknowledging that perfection isn’t a requirement but communication and understanding are essential.

As I navigate this journey of reevaluating my community, I’ve come to realize that true connections go beyond words; they are defined by actions, by showing up when it matters the most.

Five Tips on How to Show Up for Your Friends

1. Be Present, Online and Offline:

In a world that’s practically glued to screens, showing up means more than just physical presence. Respond to those texts, slide into their DMs, and don’t just double-tap, leave a comment! People are starting businesses and  side hustles and want your support. Aside from an online presence show up for the big moments, but don’t forget  the small ones either. The  connection is in the details.

2. Prioritize Quality Time:

We’re all juggling a millions of  things. But when you carve out time for your friends and family, make it count. Plan activities you all like, remove the distractions, and soak up that quality time. It’s not about quantity; it’s about making memories that last.

3. Show Empathy:

Being the friend who just gets it and you don’t have  to explain much is a vaule that I think is underrated and so needed. When someone you care about is riding the emotional rollercoaster, be the one with the metaphorical tissues and chocolate. Listen, understand, and let them know you’re there. Your empathy is the glue that holds your friendship together. You don’t always have to know what to say because honestly we don’t have all the  answers to this crazy life.

4. Celebrate Their Wins:

Your friend just did a great thing? Pop the confetti! Attend their events, send them a congratulatory message, and genuinely marvel in their wins. True friendships are built on mutual celebrations.

5. Offer Support in the Trenches:

Life’s not always a party. When your girlfriend is facing the storm, be their sturdy umbrella. Offer help, lend a non-judgmental ear, or simply send a “I’ve got your back” message. Your support in tough times makes you a friend worth more than anything money can buy.

 

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