Disclaimer: This was written and pictures were taken while listening to India Arie- Private Party 🙂
Do you have a man? or do you and your significant other do something cute every year for Valentine’s day? There is nothing wrong with this. But it got me thinking, there will be thousands of women without someone to share Valentine’s day with and thinking they aren’t good enough. There will be Mother’s and women in general that will be showered with love from those around them but, will never understand how to shower themselves with love. Do you know how to love yourself? Do you know how to enjoy dating yourself without worrying about others? When I write these type of post, I can always hear some of you saying, ‘you just don’t get it.”
Side Note: What exactly don’t I get? I am a woman with a family who has to maneuver through life and try to make the best choices, not only for myself but for the people who I call family. I get that sometimes our struggles may be slightly different but it doesn’t change the fact that we all struggle while trying our best to be good people. One of my favorite ways to think of it is, “sometimes because you are in the storm you can’t see as clearly as someone on the outside,” Basically don’t give outsiders a bad rap because we all have things we are tackling regardless of the situation.
Now that we have that out of the way, you can’t be afraid to spend time applying yourself to new things you may like. Valentine’s day is one day, but how are you loving you the rest of the year? I’m confident that knowing what you like and how you want to be treated, creates conversation and assurance when showing others how to treat you. I’ve been married for 7 years and I still want to show my husband new things that I like. Heck, I’m interesting darn it! Listen, dating yourself doesn’t mean being all weird and lighting a candle lit dinner for one. On second thought, if that’s how you feel, do you. Dating yourself means just figuring out how you want to be loved and finding new things that make you happy. I don’t care who you are with, update who you are as a woman. Valentine’s Day is a day of love, so start with you first.
Tips on Dating Yourself
Private Party: Private party by India Arie was my absolute favorite song in college. For some reason it was my Girl power, self assured anthem. I still love that song today,and in the mornings, I turn on this song make my coffee and pray. I call it “me time.” I figured out that I enjoy private dance parties lol.
Movies perhaps?: Ladies it is not weird or depressing going to the movies alone. Sometimes I actually prefer it. Think about it, a top knot bun, over-sized sweater that can double as a blanket and a pair of comfy shoes. This is the recipe for a good time. No need to be all dolled up, but my rule is always look presentable of those of you open to dating.
Dining for one: Please whatever you do, don’t over think this. No one actually cares if you are eating alone and it’s not weird at all. Take a book or your phone and depending if you want to be completely left alone, bring earphones. Now if you are single and open to dating, again look presentable, wear a smile and leave the earphones. This, my friends is called applying yourself to what you want…investing in yourself.
Girlfriend lunch Date: I know you are saying, ” she want’s me to do everything alone.” Then you have missed the point. The point is to find things that make you happy. If all of your friends are “boo’d up” for valentine’s day Then do to lunch or breakfast the day of, after, or before. Allow yourself to be flexible, I would even show up with a card for them. Your friends need to be loved too. Love from a man is not the only love available for Valentine’s day.
Gift yourself a new workout class: When you are taking care of your body and putting negative thoughts into physical activity, you relieve stress. I will be honest working out is not my most favorite thing in the world, but I find when I find fun fitness classes it keeps me excited. I don’t go to them everyday, but generally when I like to switch things up. So find a fun yoga class, like Hot yoga or a different fitness class, like a tease class. whatever it is, have fun.
Ladies it’s Time to Apply Yourself
The Take Away: Come here…closer….a little closer. I want you to understand that life doesn’t happen the way we want it. But it’s still going to happen, so learn how to make the best of it and find your happy place in the midst of it. You are most attractive when you are loving your full self without shame or regret.