I met this woman in my late teens/early 20’s, and she was simply electric. We bonded instantly over a joke and we have been laughing ever since. Here is the thing, I never forget the impact people have on me, whether it’s good or bad. I embody my experiences with life and people. They ultimately shape the way I view the world. But this new life long relationship will be one of the defining moment in the way God want’s us to love one another. As you read through this post watch how God’s love reveals itself.
College was an epic rollercoaster. Full of defining moments that you will always carry. 2am moment’s like “Aye, let’s fry some chicken.” Then you precede to have a whole meal with your college best friend into the early morning. But as I walk back to my room, I thank God for the friend who always shares with me. The friend who never focused on the weeks I didn’t want to bother my Grandma for money. Well, because she was doing the best she could. Some weeks I didn’t know how I would eat. But, when her parent’s provided for her, she unconsciously provided for me, and I did the same. Selfless love. A man of many companions may come ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother – Proverbs 18:24
I remember wanting to try Black and Milds. Everybody knew me as the “good girl.” Some stuff just wasn’t my thing. I had a horrible tooth ache and couldn’t get in to see the dentist since it was the weekend. So someone on campus foolishly told me if I smoked, the nicotine would help with the pain. So I went to my best friend because at the time that was her thing. But something happened, She said No. She would not give me a black, and stated she would not be the one to put it in my hand, and she never did. She respected me and exactly who I was. Endearing love.
A Gay Woman Comes Out
Years later, after I had married and moved away, I get a call, “I have something to tell you”, she breathed in deeply and exhaled just as much. “I’m Gay,” she told me over the phone. “Wow, Ok, when did this happen I said.” She began to go into her story and journey. Not once did I shut her down or make her feel like she wasn’t welcomed to share with me an intimate part of her life. Here is the thing I want you to understand about this, in a way she allowed me to respectfully question her decision. She knew I would need to understand what was behind the veil. She showed me grace in my confusion. Love is patient.
We both actually grew up in a strong Christian based faith. We both were raised in the south, which some people refer to as the bible belt. Yep, there is a church on every corner. So I can imagine the thoughts that rome your mind as you think, how? But truth is I didn’t care, I first wanted her to know that this place was safe, and there were no limits in acceptance with the friendship we built.She allowed me to be honest. In choppy breathes and thoughts, I said this, ” I don’t like it and I don’t prefer this for you. You know what I believe and that’s not going to change, but I respect you.” And I have continuously respected her ever since.
Still to this day we have open dialogue about God, sexuality, motherhood, life and we never forget to laugh. I have always taken the stance of living my life centered in my belief of God. I don’t feel the need to attack anyone or make them feel uncomfortable about the God that I love. I just simply live it, and pray God is always shining through me. I pray that the people that are around me or come to me, feel the way God wants us to love.
I Still Love Her
As I reminisce on the Anthony Hamilton classic that was popular at the time, I smile. Because my bubbly, crazy, one of a kind friend, is gay and to this day she unconsciously censors curse words when she talks to me. She respects my views, she honors my way of life, and my actions translate the love of God without ever tearing her down. As I go back to the beginning, when she never judged my situation, only provided a safe space to be, I vow to always welcome her in mine. Our views and morals aren’t that different, but her walk is not my story to tell…
Is it hard for you to get along with people who may be different from what you believe? Let’s talk in the comments.